y do i keep looking back... :/

"妈。。。你以前，在我们出生之前，养我们的想法， 和现在你在养我们的方法一样吗？" i asked my mom this while we were on our way to her shop, because i just think that i might not be able to treat my kids the way i want, like wat my parents are doing.... then she asked mi whether did i ask this qn just because she always scolds mi abt playing too much comp games... i replied no... n she asked mi issit because i feel neglected.. ( or sth somewhere upon that line)... suddenly, tears began to well up into my eyes... but i tried to to let them drop... my mum began to explain her view abt why our family is not the typical family, n she asked mi whether i'm angry at her..... of course i said no lah... i wanted to tell her that i felt really sorry towards the family (more towards her) coz i dun tink much for the family..... i dunno whether she knows that.... while i'm moving the gds to n fro... whenever i tink abt that conversation we had just now, my eyes would just get watery..... really can't help it....

haha.... feng le... taken a lot of pics everyday since i got my digicam.. tink i must have taken ard 0.6 gb worth of pics n videos since last fri :p i'm quite interested in learning the techniques of photo-taking :)

just faced my computer for a total of 8 hrs... quite sick of lookin at the screen now... shall go slp now....

haha..... took chao ji a lot of pics n videos today n yesterday... ard 180 mb worth :p went for k lunch today n almost sang myself hoarse....
i can feel myself getting more confident of myself, standing more strongly in what i believe in... is it because of the recent "conflicts"? i believe so.... but somehow i'm still quite apprehensive of this new me, hoping that i'll not regret becoming like this....

yesterday went out with jane, yx, ting, ck n hj... i think we all aren't the sort that could easily hype up the atmosphere. everybody was like quite gan ga while we're at kbox, dunno y oso but the feeling's a bit strange but everything got ok after the kbox.then we went starbucks then went to catch the brothers grimm then went to eatr a a chinese restaurant then went to walk along esplanade for a while b4 goin into bakerzin. Haven really spend a whole day outside since dunno when le... i guess the most memorable paart of the outing yesterday was while we're at bakerzin. We got to know each other AGAIN :p n this time yx was here to join in our.... "game?" i just read in a newspaper article that questioned whether the changing of the nature of friendship in sg is for the worse or better. it lists out 3 reasons y it's getting worse.

1. singaporeans are becoming more self-centred
2. a faster pace of life is increasing the premium that we place on our free time
3. the more successful and affluent we become as a people, the more we seem to value our privacy. yet the strongest friendships are between people who make themselves vulnerable to each other by hiding no secrets.

hmm..........

just got my digicam the day b4 yesterday n let's hope it doesn't turn out like mo mo ren's camera :p haha... (if the mo mo ren is reading this... sorry ah :o )

have to cut down on my usage of my com.. my dad is..... hiy......

Random thoughts.....

blog = filtered-everyday life being written down to show ppl? for wat?

i guess i'm quite a minority person... the more interest ppl show, the more i'll b skeptical... e.g. if i like eating hamburgers, if a lot of ppl begin to eat them, i'll begin to tink it's not nice... this applies to a lot of situations...

y do i eat even after i'm full? whenever i've nth to do at home, although i feel hungry, i'll just want to bite sth.....

i wanna work!!!!

my sis treated the whole family to a lunch at a restaurant near our house just now. .... our family rarely sit down for dinner together.. really rarely.... fell into my usual quietness with my family... then i rem sth my sis said to me last time... " if you keep controlling ys, like i tried to control you when u're young, he'll become zi bi like you..." ... m i zi bi? m i really trying too hard to control my brother? di my sis really control mi too much when i'm young? .... too many qns, too lazy to think of the answers.... ............ haha, just found out when i got my lameness from... tink i inherited it from my mom. she was talking cock at the table just now.. didn't realise she was like this... tink it's quite sweet :) haha, dunno wat cock i'm toking.... tink i inherited a lot of stuff from my mom, including my looks.. .... wat did i inherit from my dad? ...................... goin to buy a digicam later, yeah! i just mentioned to my sis that i'm goin to taiwan soon n she suggested buying a digicam for mi to take pictures, haha... goin to take lotsa pics soon :p

feeling a bit hurt of what someone said juz now..... i can't imagine how ck has been feeling all those times when he was being kao-bei-ed..... hiy...... hate being ignored, being an outsider.... all these are not because of one event only or one person... it's some of the feelings that i've felt today.

i juz finished my "32" km route much yesterday night. It's "32" because it seemed more like a 36-37km. i felt quite demoralised when many others n mi realised that the route we took were longer than expected. Thinking that we were supposed to reach a checkpoint, but suddenly realising that we still got ard 1 more km to go....but luckily, i was quite fit so manage to tahan :p with a lot of other ppl too lah..after goin back camp, i went back to bunk to prepare to slp but news was passed down that the commanders could bk in tommorow, which is today, afternoon. i went to ced's house to thawn n went to suntec today for the COMEX fair n bought a webcam n mouse. There sure was a lot of chio-bu selling stuff there :p but the biggest chio-bu i saw today was..... lindsay lohan!!!! i watched herbie fully reloaded this afternoon. I didn't realise how chio she was until today, her legs n overall figure, woo hoo :O haha... :p a bit too kua zhang... but she's hot lah.. the movie was gd, tink it appealed to me... most to my childish side...
by went to america last sun... din noe wat to say to him a 2 days b4 he left... even when he called mi just when he's waiting for his departure in the lobby.. i still din noe wat to sae to him.. all i could say was that, he'll b happy there with his new friens... wanted to write an email to him to say some stuff that i felt = abt maybe y he's very happy there with this new life, but i felt it'll only make things worse if i try to explain y his life here sucks( he said that his life here sucks lah)..... hiy......